Every
human that has ever existed has had happiness as their ultimate goal in life.
Pretty bold and presumptuous statement, huh? When you put the emphasis on
“ultimate”, I think you’ll find the statement is true.
It's
the odd ways in which we pursue happiness that makes us question the validity of
this idea. What about the guy that works at a job he hates for his family? Is
his goal to be happy? Again, I think the answer is "yes."
Your
core motivation to be happy is surrounded by layers of other desires. Like an
onion, you must first peel away the layers to reach the core. Let's look at an
example.
I want
a car.
Why do
you want that?
So I
can get to work.
Why do
you want that?
So I
can earn enough money for a house.
Why do
you want that?
So I
can have a place I call my own.
Why do
you want that?
So I
can feel free to do with it what I will.
Why do
you want that?
Because
when I feel free, I feel happy.
Happiness does not always appear to be an obvious goal because of the
intermediate goals we believe are necessary to achieve happiness. But in the
end, we do what we do to feel good.
Some
say the "will to survive" is the strongest desire of all men, but even this I
question. What about suicide? What about people with a fatal disease who are in
a lot of pain and want to die? These people want to end their lives. If the will
to survive was our highest motivation above all else, it would seem people would
want to live, no matter what.
So what
DO these people want? To end their pain. From this one can only conclude that
the desire to feel good is even stronger than the desire to stay alive.
So if
happiness is so important to us, and its what everyone seeks, then why aren’t
there any classes on how to be happy? No society, past or present, has put any
emphasis on teaching people to experience what we all yearn for. You’d think
with the magnitude of the role happiness plays in our lives, that there would be
some type of education on the subject. Ever seen "A Study in Happiness" offered
at school? No, of course not.
I’ve
racked my brain trying to figure out why we don’t teach people about how to help
themselves feel good, and I think it comes down to one reason. Society, as a
whole, has some pretty big misconceptions about what it means to be happy. We
have passed down from generation to generation the belief that happiness, or
unhappiness, can be attributed to external causes. We’ve been told that other
people and the circumstances make us happy or unhappy. That our happiness is
outside ourselves.
Among
the many misconceptions concerning this thing so much pursued are these: (One)
That money makes happiness. False. It may help or it may hinder. Some men have
sold their happiness, but no one was ever able to buy it. (Two) That pleasure is
the same as happiness. False. You can wear yourself ragged in pursuit of
pleasure and still wake up in dull despair. (Three) That fame brings happiness.
False. The record eloquently indicates otherwise. (Four) That happiness must be
found in far places. False again. We carry it with us.
If
there were no reasonable chance of finding happiness, we had just as well ring
down the curtain on time and eternity, for happiness is properly the chief
business and ultimate aim of life. “Men are, that they might have joy.” But
there is no point in pursuing it where it never was and never will be found. No
one ever over took anything -- including happiness -- by pursuing it on the
wrong road. If we want it, we had better look for it where it is.”
