During your search for meaningful employment, many upsetting things will occur which are beyond your control. Unfortunately, many talented people do not run effective campaigns because they become discouraged and demoralized by these events. In order to organize and implement a really effective search for satisfying work, it is essential for you to feel that you are in charge of your life and that you’re not simply at the mercy of external forces.

The good news is that the most important ingredient for a successful transition --- your attitude --- is completely within your control. How you think and how you feel about what happens in your life is a matter of choice. Yes, events may occur which you cannot control, but you choose how you perceive these events and how you respond to them.

Too often, developing a positive attitude is overlooked. People will say, "Who has the time to work on attitude?" Or they’ll think, "When my search begins to show results, I know that my attitude will improve." The problem is that it doesn’t work this way. A positive attitude is the cause and not the result of a successful work transition.

What prevents many of us from developing and maintaining a winning attitude is that we don’t realize how we have become our own worst enemy. No one ever taught us that events simply happen and what counts is your interpretation of them.

More than anything, it is your attitude that determines how you respond to the events in your life. Attitude is the tinted pair of glasses through which you view what happens to you. Because of differences in attitude, the same event will be seen by two people in entirely different ways. Someone with a positive attitude is more likely to respond to being terminated from a job with a sigh of relief and inclined to see the exciting opportunities which it has opened up. A person with a negative attitude who is let go from the same company will be more inclined to focus on all the things that were lost and to spend considerable energy looking for people to blame.

Here are some important ways in which you can really take charge of your attitude:

1. Choose to let go of regrets about the past. This is not an easy thing to do, but it’s essential. We make ourselves miserable needlessly by constant Monday morning quarterbacking. In replaying the videotape over and over again, we hammer ourselves with real zingers such as "How could you possibly have done such a stupid thing?" or "You certainly are dumb, aren’t you?"

Lambasting ourselves after the fact is understandable, but it doesn’t help. What’s necessary to understand is that the past is gone; there is nothing you can do to change what happened. Instead of reprimanding yourself, get into the habit of asking yourself this powerful question: What’s the lesson for me? When you do this regularly and wait for the answers to come, you’ll discover that there is always a useful lesson that comes out of even the most painful experience.

2. Choose to talk affirmatively to yourself. Start right now to replace negative self-talk with statements that affirm your worth and empower you to act enthusiastically and purposefully each day. Remember: What you believe about yourself is the foundation for all your actions and is, over time, what you actually become.

Tell yourself that you are a unique person and that you have many admirable qualities. Remind yourself that you have numerous talents, skills and abilities and that you are discovering new strengths all the time. You are intelligent, resourceful and creative. You are good at dealing with problems. You actually welcome these problems as teachers that have entered your life to challenge your capabilities. You view losses as opportunities to learn and to grow. And you examine mistakes for the lessons they can teach you.

Say to yourself that you see the world as filled with unlimited possibilities. Write these affirmations down, tape them up where you can read them every day and even repeat them out loud. When you do this regularly, you’ll find the negative self-talk begin to disappear from your thinking.

3. Choose to ask yourself better questions. The old adage, "Garbage in, garbage out" is very applicable here. Many people sabotage themselves by asking themselves the kind of questions that are certain to make them feel bad. Instead of asking yourself, "How could I be so stupid?" ask yourself "What’s the lesson here?" If you ask yourself, "Why does this always happen to me?" you’re always going to get an answer that puts you down. So don’t ask it. Instead, ask yourself, "What actions can I take to prevent this from happening again?" Asking yourself, "How come I never get a break?" is another loaded question you need to avoid. Simply replace it with this powerful question: "How can I expose myself to people and ideas that might help uncover new opportunities for me?"

4. Choose to stop worrying about the future. You may not realize it, but worrying is a choice. Unfortunately, many of us worry so regularly that we have turned it into a habit. In fact, the first thing that some people do when they awaken in the morning is worry. They’ve programmed their mind by saying to themselves as soon as they get up, "It’s time to worry."

If you find yourself starting your day by worrying, try not thinking at all for the first half hour. What works for many individuals is beginning the day with some form of meditation followed by a routine of stretching, exercising, then walking or running. Try not to think much at all until you are outside in the fresh air. By then, you’ll be feeling good and will be much less inclined to worry. Keep in mind that we worry by thinking fearful thoughts about the future. When you feel better about yourself and can visualize a pleasant and fulfilling future, you are more likely to focus your imagination on your hopes and dreams rather than your fears.

5. Choose to stop blaming others and take full responsibility for your life. This may be the hardest of all. It’s so easy to blame others for our problems, isn’t it? Let’s be honest, we can always find some excuse to blame others if we really want to. By habitually blaming others, however, you unwittingly take on the role of helpless victim and you undermine any possibility for really taking charge of your life.

Instead of blaming others for your problems, why not say the following to yourself: "The actions I take are the result of the decisions that I make. I acknowledge my responsibility for making these choices and I let no one else make them for me. I enjoy this responsibility because it puts me in charge of my life. There is no need for me to blame others or to make excuses. I choose … I commit to taking action … and then I accept the consequences of my action or inaction. Regardless of the outcome, I always ask myself, What lessons can I learn? I feel very good knowing that I am free to choose my life and commit to the values which are so important to me."

Taking charge of your attitude isn’t easy and it involves some hard work. But as you begin to feel that you are more in control of how you react to what happens to you, you’ll feel much better about yourself. The positive impact this will have on your search for meaningful work and on the rest of your life will make it really worthwhile.