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Growing up
Mary Lutyens, in her biography of
Krishnamurti, states that there was a time when he fully believed that he was to
become the "World Teacher", after correct spiritual and secular guidance and
education. Another biographer describes the daily program imposed on him by
Leadbeater and his associates, which among other things included rigorous
exercise and sports, tutoring in a variety of school subjects, theosophical and
religious lessons, yoga and meditation, as well as instruction in proper hygiene
and the ways of British society and culture.Unlike sports, where he showed a
natural aptitude, Krishnamurti always had problems with formal schooling and was
not academically inclined. He eventually gave up university education after
several attempts at admission. He did take to foreign languages, eventually
speaking several (French and Italian among them) with some fluency. In this
period, he apparently enjoyed reading parts of the Old Testament, and was
impressed by some of the Western classics, especially Shelley, Dostoyevsky and
Nietzsche. He had also, since childhood, considerable observational and
mechanical skills, being able to correctly disassemble and reassemble
complicated machinery.
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His public image, as
originally cultivated by the theosophists, "...was to be characterized by a
well-polished exterior, a sobriety of purpose, a cosmopolitan outlook and an
otherwordly, almost beatific detachment in his demeanor." And in fact,
"...All of these can be said to have characterised Krishnamurti's public
image to the end of his life." It was apparently clear early on that he
"...possessed an innate personal magnetism, not of a warm physical variety,
but nonetheless emotive in its austerity, and inclined to inspire
veneration."However, as Krishnamurti was growing up, he showed signs of
adolescent rebellion and emotional instability, chafing at the regimen
imposed on him, and occasionally having doubts about the future prescribed
him.
Krishnamurti and Nitya were taken to England for the first time in April of
1911.It was on this trip that Krishnamurti and his brother first encountered
Lady Emily Lutyens, wife of the prominent architect Sir Edwin Lutyens. Lady
Emily, then 36 years old and active in the Theosophical Society, had five
children including daughter Mary Lutyens, who was to become Krishnamurti's
principal biographer and lifelong friend. The adolescent Krishnamurti and
Lady Emily formed a strong emotional attachment,which was at times frowned
upon by the highest ranking members of the intensely insular Theosophical
Society as well as by a frustrated and skeptical Edwin Lutyens.
In 1922, Krishnamurti and Nitya travelled from Sydney to California on their
way to Switzerland. It was thought that the mountain climate of Ojai would
be beneficial to Nitya, who had been diagnosed with Tuberculosis.While in
California, they lodged in a cottage in a secluded valley, offered to them
for the occasion by an American member of the Order of the Star. For the
first time, the brothers were freed from the immediate supervision of the
Theosophists. They used the time constructively by engaging in spiritual
contemplation and planning their futures within the World Teacher Project.It
was also at this time that the brothers first met Rosalind Williams,19, the
sister of a local Theosophist, who eventually became close to them both.
Krishnamurti and Nitya found the Ojai Valley to be very agreeable, and
eventually a trust, formed by supporters, purchased for them the cottage and
surrounding property, which henceforth became Krishnamurti's official place
of residence.
It was there, in August 1922, that Krishnamurti went through an intense,
"life-changing" experience.It has been simultaneously, and invariably,
characterised as a spiritual awakening, a psychological transformation, and
a physical "conditioning". Krishnamurti and those around him would refer to
it as "the process", and it continued, at very frequent intervals and
varying forms of intensity, until his death. Witnesses recount that it
started on the 17th, with extraordinary pain at the nape of Krishnamurti's
neck, and a hard, ball-like swelling. The next couple of days, the symptoms
worsened, with increasing pain, extreme physical discomfort and sensitivity,
total loss of appetite and occasional delirious ramblings. Then, he seemed
to lapse into unconsciousness; actually, he recounted that he was very much
aware of his surroundings and while in that state, he had an experience of
"mystical union".The following day the symptoms, and the experience,
intensified, climaxing with a sense of "immense peace".
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"...I was supremely happy,
for I had seen. Nothing could ever be the same. I have drunk at the clear
and pure waters and my thirst was appeased. ...I have seen the Light. I have
touched compassion which heals all sorrow and suffering; it is not for
myself, but for the world. ...Love in all its glory has intoxicated my
heart; my heart can never be closed. I have drunk at the fountain of Joy and
eternal Beauty. I am God-intoxicated." Similar incidents continued with
short intermissions until October, and later eventually resumed regularly,
always involving varying degrees of physical pain to mark the start of the
"process", accompanied by what is variably described as "presence",
"benediction", "immensity", and "sacredness", which was often reportedly "felt"
by others present.
Several explanations have been
proposed for the events of 1922, and "the process" in general.Leadbeater and
other theosophists, although they expected the "vehicle" to have certain
paranormal experiences, were mystified by the developments, and were at a loss
to explain the whole thing. The "process", and the inability of Leadbeater to
explain it satisfactorily, if at all, had other consequences according to
biographer R. Vernon:
"The process at Ojai, whatever its cause or validity, was a cataclysmic
milestone for Krishna. Up until this time his spiritual progress, chequered
though it might have been, had been planned with solemn deliberation by
Theosophy's grandees. ...Something new had now occurred for which Krishna's
training had not entirely prepared him. ...A burden was lifted from his
conscience and he took his first step towards becoming an individual. ...In
terms of his future role as a teacher, the process was his bedrock. ...It had
come to him alone and had not been planted in him by his mentors...It provided
Krishna with the soil in which his newfound spirit of confidence and
independence could take root."
The messianic status of Krishnamurti reached fever pitch as a visit to Sydney,
Australia was planned. Leadbeater had been based there since 1914, and the
movement was strong enough to own a local radio station 2GB. The Star
Amphitheatre was built in 1923–24 at Balmoral Beach on Sydney Harbour, as a
platform for the coming "world teacher". According to sensational media
reportage, Krishnamurti was to make a triumphant arrival, walking on water
through Sydney Heads. Paralleling this increasing adulation was Krishnamurti's
growing discomfort with it.
Finally, the unexpected death of his brother Nitya on November 11, 1925 at age
27, from tuberculosis, after a long history with the disease, fundamentally
shook Krishnamurti's belief and faith in Theosophy and the leaders of the
Theosophical Society. According to eyewitness accounts, the news "broke him down
completely". He struggled for days to overcome his sorrow, eventually "...going
through an inner revolution, finding new strength".The experience of his
brother's death shattered any remaining illusions, and things would never be the
same again.
"...An old dream is dead and a new one is being born, as a flower that pushes
through the solid earth. A new vision is coming into being and a greater
consciousness is being unfolded. ...A new strength, born of suffering, is
pulsating in the veins and a new sympathy and understanding is being born of
past suffering - a greater desire to see others suffer less, and, if they must
suffer, to see that they bear it nobly and come out of it without too many
scars. I have wept, but I do not want others to weep; but if they do, I know
what it means."
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