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Do you condemn yourself for things which you did - or failed to do - in the past?  Everyone does this at some point. However, if you want to lead a successful and productive life, it is imperative that you release the past and not blame yourself for events that have already transpired and cannot be changed.

Ask yourself this question: has "beating yourself up" about the past ever helped you or made you feel better?  If your answer is "no," I hope that you'll make a commitment to stop this self-defeating behavior.

The strategy of berating yourself for past conduct solves nothing and only serves to lower your self-esteem.  You create a vicious cycle where negative experiences and negative feelings are reinforced, which leads to more negative outcomes and more negative  feelings.  Is that what you really want?

You are not going to change one bit of your past.  It's gone. Learn from your past experiences and move on.  You did the best you could given your awareness and understanding of your options at the time.  This does not imply that your conduct was praiseworthy; however, you gain nothing from self-condemnation, except feelings of misery and inadequacy.

When you find yourself starting to dwell on past negative experiences, immediately halt and remind yourself: "There is nothing I can do now to change what happened.  I learned a valuable lesson and will act in a more constructive way next time."

You see, regardless of what you have done - or failed to do - the only sane approach is to accept it and move forward.  The successful individual does not waste precious mental energy dwelling on past events that cannot be changed.  Instead, he or she uses past mistakes as learning experiences and springboards to future successes.


 

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